there's been a lot of my plate lately but I managed to have one of the best days I've had in a while. my license is suspended and my laundry machine is broken and thankfully I have such lovely friends such as silvana to come over then go back to her place and let me use her washer. we lounged around a bit. went to costco with her mamas. sat outside in the gorgeous weather. then cate came we ate some watermelons. we were gunna cook but Idk what happened to cate and I being glamoured by the couch goddess while the apocalypse opened up right before our eyes!! as in, we saw hail and looked to be hurricane lucifer on july 26th but hey it's all good! we had the best healthiest dinner. then headed over to my fathers for some true blood. WHICH THIS WEEKS EPISODE LEFT US ALL READY TO START A COUNTDOWN TIL NEXT WEEKS EPISODE. gosh, do I love me some sookie stackhouse and bill compton. the director of this show is phenomenal and leaves you over-thinking until the next episode.

I have so many stupid annoying things to do tomorrow. like get together with my neighbor to do school things so I can be signed up for fall classes in september. I have to fix this license suspension thing. silv is picking me up bright and early and we're doing the getbrittanyslifetogetherthings. woohoo. not.

I've been on this honorary title, joy division and phoenix rave lately. I can dig it.

despite how many bad things happen lately, I realized you can only take it day by day. because if you try to change everything at once it's physically and mentally impossible to do so. my dad gave me the simplest advice, do one thing positive a day and that's all you can do to reach your main goals. which sounds so easy but in the end it'll make things go by faster and easier in the long run. I've been eating a lot healthier. and I notice a huge difference in my energy levels or more human feeling. staying away from so much coffee/redbull and replacing with water. I mean, I know to do these things it's just I love the stimulation of these fake awakes. I'm worried about sabrina I haven't spoken to her in so long. and I miss having her in my life. I just wish I could contact her. I feel like she hates me. it sucks. I don't mean to be a shitty friend. but sometimes I unintentionally do things to hurt other people.

lsat night someone told me I had no feelings. It really made me think. I wonder if a lot of people think I'm as heartless as I feel like people look at me as. maybe it's my insecurities coming out, but when do you draw the line between too insecure vs. too secure with yourself. just trying to stay true to myself and my own morals nnnnnaaaahsayin?