6:56 pm.

I just got in from the brookdale open house. oh community college how I know I shall love thee. everyone there was so lame looking and I felt like I was just a love wolf in the herd of a big family. as usual. people were there with their mothers and fathers and whomever to accompany them and I just felt like everyone was eyeball fucking the shit outta me. typical. I am going to be applying for financial aid. and am going in on monday at 11am to have someone assist me to fill out the fafsa. I'm sure I'll get plently of help due to my current situation, it's just how I apply myself that I'm worried about. I just am nervous and want to start my real life already. I'm tired of hair. I'm tired of this routine. time for change. why not start now?

I don't have any plans today possible fake n' bake session then maybe go to blockbuster and rent trainspotting. tomorrows thursday - nothing. friday - show with smallboypants and rob. saturday - jazz festival. sunday - silv & cate. this weekends looking up. much better then the fight I got into last night. I guess I am looking for something more than just 'hanging out' and I went about it in a too strong manner. so there goes that one. bring on the next! as in no, bring on the right one please and thanks. whatever I need to concentrate on getting myself together rather than worrying about the stress of a relationship. I'm just tired of attracting the same scumfucks. you do tend to repeat the past but I'm trying to break this routine. killmekillmekillme. 

I started wearing my hair differently. I really like it.