when things are coming to a halt.....

summer is coming to a hault. I can see a huge change in so many people. I think this was the most self finding self changing summer for every single one of my friends. I feel like from talking to so many people and the people that has come and gone and stayed or has come back into my life really has helped my mind. I'm happy with the outcome. It showed me everyone's true colors and blurred colors. between boys, friends, family, work, school, mind/body cleansing journeys it was an overall amazing summer. I have people back in my life I've been so depressed how they weren't there. but now are. it's exciting. and new. and more grown and branched out relationships. I know what I want in my life. and I know what I DON'T want in my life. as I've been learning about existensionalism it helped me change my thinking about e v e r y t h i n g. even to the little things, it's bettered me and my character. I feel kinda sad that this summer is ending cause I can say it was my best one yet. given, I didn't have my number one around but this is me being selfish and saying without her, I got to know myself. and find bestfriendshop and solace within myself. given, times get lonely, but they only get better if you want them too by decisions YOU make cause the only person who's gunna be the one to do that, is yourself. so many things are going through my mind right now I don't even know if I want to let these can of worms out. but I took off my rose tinted glasses, and finally grew myself a pair of logical eyes. it's refreshing to have the people whom I look up to most, as in my friends I have in my life. the people who aren't anymore. the family and upbringing I've finally accepted. money isn't an object, it's what you make of it. with boys, I'm too young, I have way to much going for me to let them bring me down. my mind is forever growing and absorbing as much as this chaotic world has to offer and I'm forever trying to find the people who think the same way as I do. and I'm doing a pretty good job at doing so!

"Well I wish things were different, true, and deep
But everything that's so shallow is everything about me
If only I could just take all my money and leave
I hope the people on the ground will understand
I hope the people out there will understand"

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